I often write about my father, my mother, my grandparents, and now, of course, my new baby grandchild. This Rosh Hashanah, as we count our blessings for the new year, I want to write with great gratitude about my two sisters.
Yes, that's us, dressed up as the little Indian girls we were one Purim soon after we emigrated to the United States. I won't keep you guessing: Flora is on the left; Aliza is in the middle, and I'm on the right. We've grown up a lot since then!
For the past several years, we've worked together as a team to care for our parents, each one of us taking on different responsibilities. Our text messaging group of three is a lifeline, as we share everything from financial logistics to finding an apartment for our mother; from the lingering sadness over our father's death to the comforting joy of spotting a Monarch butterfly that flits about the Milkweed imbued with his spirit.
I know that as we enjoy the Rosh Hashanah seder this year--the distinctive Sephardic/Mizrahi home ritual for the new year--we will think of how my father took an extra helping of dates and apple maraba (preserves) to sweeten the taste of the spinach that he didn't especially like.
We will think of him, and we will think of each other as we chant the seven mystical verses that precede the seder. We will find special meaning in the verse from Psalms 36:9 (below) that we chose to be embroidered on the back of the Torah mantle and dedicated in his memory at B'nai Shalom in West Orange, NJ this past July. Our family worked together as a team to create a meaningful Torah service, each of us participating through the beauty of our own voices.
It's especially resonant that in the Baghdadi and Sephardic tradition, the Rosh Hashanah evening service begins with the piyyut, Ahot Ketanah, Little Sister, by Abraham Hazzan Girondi, a cantor and Spanish poet who lived in the mid-13th century. The poem compares Israel to a little sister who remains faithful to God, and prays that the year of suffering will give way to a year of blessing.
"For with you is the source of light...in your light do we see light." (Psalms 36:9)
To order my book, Apples and Pomegranates: A Family Seder for Rosh Hashanah (Lerner/Kar-Ben), click here.
With my best wishes for a year of light and blessings,
It's hard to believe my father has been gone a year. His yahrzeit, which marks the year of mourning, was 22 Tammuz, which fell on July 1 this year.
He left a manual of Jewish mourning customs from our Baghdadi-Indian heritage with specific instructions about how to conduct the funeral and the shiva; biblical, rabbinic and kabbalistic texts to recite on the 22nd and 30th days after the funeral; and the Mourner’s Kaddish with its variations. He called the 500-page, hard-bound volume embossed with gold lettering Kir’u Aharai, Read After Me.
What he didn’t include—much less foresee—was how to participate in a year of “virtual” mourning, when the mourning was real, but the community was virtual. After leading a nightly minyan for family all over the world the first month after his death, I switched to participating in the Zoom minyan of Temple of Israel of Great Neck, N.Y., either alone or with my mother, who had been staying with me every other weekend.
I wrote about "My Year of Zoom Kaddish." Thanks to Hadassah magazine for publishing it in this month's issue.
So much of what I've done this year has been to honor my father's memory. Every custom or melody I've shared, every Torah reading I've chanted--to honor his memory. Here he is with my mother in one of his favorite places--standing in front of the Torah. The Yad, the pointer, guided his words.
Now his hands, though physically unseen, remain with us to guide us. The touch of his hands on our bent heads and the sound of his voice as he blessed us with the priestly blessing he so cherished and bestowed liberally upon us will forever resonate in our hearts. May God bless you and keep you. May God's light shine upon you. May God grant you peace.
Yehi zichro baruch. May his memory be a blessing.
Copies of Kir'u Aharai are still available. Please contact me if you are interested.
These two little boys captured my heart on our last group tour of India. I wonder how they are faring today, with the Covid crisis raging in India. Though the numbers are coming down in the cities of Mumbai and Delhi, the country needs our prayers, support and supplies in this extraordinarily difficult time.
Organizations in the U.S., Israel and India are in emergency mode to combat the spread. The American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee (JDC), in coordination with the Indian Jewish community and its local partner, SEWA Cooperative Federation, shipped three Israeli-made ventilators, each costing about $10,000, to Indian hospitals in Mumbai and Ahmedabad. One of the hospitals, Mahatma Gandhi Memorial Hospital in Panvel (a town outside Mumbai), treats Jewish patients from the Bayiti Jewish Old Age Home. JDC is offering counseling to the Jewish communities in India as well as pick-up and drop-off services for elderly community members who need help getting to and from vaccination centers and assistance booking an ambulance.
Oxygen concentrators have been distributed to public health centers around Ahmedabad, which has a Jewish community of about 100, and health kits, filtered masks, and other medical supplies are being distributed in hard-hit villages to help upwards of 20,000 people.
Local women entrepreneurs who are part of the SEWA network are being trained on best practices for COVID prevention and use of oxygen concentrators to aid their communities, and a special medical advice helpline has been set up for local women to call in. WhatsApp audio and video messages about COVID prevention, treatment, and care options have been deployed in areas with growing infection rates, and American and Israeli doctors are providing support to Indian ICU doctors and nurses and helping to set up telemedicine services in rural locations.
IsraAID, an international Israeli-based humanitarian aid NGO, has joined Gabriel Project Mumbai, a Jewish-run NGO supporting education, empowerment, health and hygiene in the Kalwa slums and the rural villages near Mumbai. GPM's Operation CoVER, Corona Virus Emergency Response, is providing necessary care, emergency groceries and health and hygiene kits to low-income families living in hard-to-reach locations, and coordinating with local health authorities to ensure rural hospitals and Covid care centers have the medical equipment, supplies, medical professionals, and personal protective equipment for frontline workers. Currently there is about one doctor to every 50-100 patients in these rural areas. GPM will also be setting up medical camps within the villages for testing and increasing access to vaccinations, hoping to reach an estimated 70,000 people.
Israel’s Foreign Ministry is dispatching thousands of oxygen generators to India, among other medical gear items. UJA Federation-New York, the largest Jewish federation in the United States, approved four grants totaling $200,000 to JDC; GPM; IsraAID, and the Afya Foundation, which sends medical supplies to communities in need.
Please support these efforts!
Gabriel Project Mumbai
JDC Delivering Ventilator. Harshbir Singh/Bombay Arthouse.
The following guest blog post was submitted by Nataly Blumberg, a huge fan of Explore Jewish India and an enthusiastic lover of hand-blocked tablecloths with matching napkins.
Passover is around the corner, and even though you might celebrate with an intimate group this year, it is still important to make it special. When we ask ourselves, “Why is this night different than all other nights?” adding that extra something to make it a memorable and positive experience will help us find the silver lining in all that is happening around us.
This year I decided to go on the hunt for an inspiring table-scape. Growing up, my mother always made a beautiful table, but until recently I didn’t even know that a table-scape was a thing! Basically, my interpretation is that you set your table according to a theme. I recently read a blog post that caught my interest on Apeloig Collection that talked about setting their table based on a picture of Moses in his basket on the Nile River. So creative!
After a bit of searching around on Instagram and Pinterest, I decided that the perfect holiday table would include pieces that had special meaning, especially those that were handed down from people we love who are not with us anymore. Once I started to open up closets and drawers, I realized how many beautiful items were being stored waiting for an occasion, or were unused because they were too delicate. Also, all of that browsing online made me realize that embracing color makes a table setting so much more interesting than a boring white tablecloth!
Starting with the basics, I’ll be adding something new and colorful this year: a stunning tablecloth and napkin set from Explore Jewish India! I cannot get enough of the vibrant colors, thick cotton fabric, and beautiful hand-blocked patterns, all the while knowing that I’ve helped support several small businesses. And, for a person who loves to set a nice table on Shabbat and holidays, not having to iron is a major motivator. My only problem is that there are too many pretty patterns to choose from!
Photo caption: Almost ready for Shabbat! All that’s left is the challah and candlesticks!
I realize now that that I should stop saving the “good” china and glassware. My grandmother once told me to wear all the jewelry I wanted and not to wait. She said, “Just wear it and enjoy it, because eventually it will get lost or stolen. Don’t let it go unused and unloved.” I’ve started to take this advice to heart. I adore the way the floral pattern on my husband’s grandmother’s silverware seems right at home with the tablecloth. To polish the silver, I found this handy way to clean it in five seconds and a tiny bit of effort using hot water, baking powder, and foil.
I decided to finally take out my late mother-in-law’s delicate gray smoke Scandinavian glasses. Since it’s just the four of us for Shabbat dinner and likely for the Passover Seder, now seems as good a time as ever. Though they are too delicate for the dishwasher, the glasses are so beautiful! Using them is a meaningful way to bring her memory to our table. Their color works well with the green and blue of the tablecloth. To add even more pizzazz, try this fun and easy trick to create napkin rings that I learned from a friend of mine who is a party planner. Take a piece of twine and fold it in half. Make a loop with a knot at the top and pull the ends through. Finally, slip in your napkin and you have a lovely napkin ring!
Photo: My late mother-in-law’s “fancy” glasses for a special Shabbat dinner. Maybe some inspiration for Passover!
; few years ago, we inherited candlesticks from my husband’s grandmother. Recently, we learned that these were a gift for her confirmation. She was born in Marshall, Texas and at the time girls didn’t have a bat mitzvah--they had a confirmation. Her monogram, “BR,” is engraved in a stunning pattern. We've been using these the past few Shabbatot, and it’s been a great way to enhance our table.
Photo: My husband’s grandmother’s monogrammed Shabbat candlesticks from her confirmation in Marshall, Texas.
Next to the wedding china that we decided to use after two decades is my grandfather’s kiddush cup. He was born in Poland and spent much of his adult life in South America, so I have no idea where the kiddush cup really originated! I used the silver polishing trick and it’s even more beautiful than I remember. Since he died before I was born, the kiddush cup is a way to talk to my children about the importance of Jewish rituals from generation to generation.
Photo: My grandfather's kiddush cup
In the coming weeks, I’ll be going through even more family treasures to use as part of our celebrations. For me, what makes this year’s Passover preparation different from all other years is the realization that life is short, and that special items are not only special because of their monetary value but because of the people who owned them before me. I am going to take the opportunity to speak with my children about different Jewish cultures from India to Texas, and the importance of using the “good” stuff to make every Shabbat and holiday more meaningful.
Growing up, I didn’t know that Baghdadi Jewish women--including members of my own family--were Indian film superstars. My mother went to the movies, but to British and American ones, not Bollywood ones in Hindi. Her favorite stars were Ingrid Bergman and Clark Gable. Her parents were fluent in Arabic mixed with Hindustani and English and they went neither to Bollywood or English movies. My father's family did go to Hindi movies—in fact Sulochana, who starred in 70 Bollywood movies, was my grandfather's first cousin.
By the time I was born, the Baghdadi Jewish stars had faded or died. Imagine my surprise and delight when one day in March 2017, almost exactly four years ago, I received an email from Danny Ben-Moshe, the director of a then-upcoming documentary about Jews and Indian cinema. He asked if he could use music from my CD, Hodu: Jewish Rhythms from Baghdad to India, in his film, Shalom Bollywood.
Shalom Bollywood has had great success and has been screened at film festivals around the world. Audiences have fallen in love with the Jewish stars: Sulochana; Pramila, who went on to be the first Miss India; Miss Rose, the "socialite extraordinaire;" Uncle David, who often hosted India’s equivalent to the Oscars; and Nadira, who often played the sassy vamp.
Today, Shalom Bollywood is available on Amazon Prime.
I'm thrilled that Danny Ben-Moshe will be my guest on our next NamaStay at Home program, Sunday, February 28 at 7 pm ET. He will talk about the impact these stars had on shaping what we now know as the worlds’ largest film industry; the cultural reasons that allowed these Jewish women to push boundaries and the harmonious Jewish existence in India, which he calls a "refreshingly positive Jewish story." The reign of the Jewish stars lasted until Hindu women broke their own societal taboos and entered Indian cinema.
Photographer Joan Roth will also join us to share her memories of Nadira and producing an iconic photo of the star in her Bombay home.
Our program will go beyond Bollywood of yesteryear to today's Bollywood dance. Revital Moses, a choreographer, dancer and Mumbai native who now lives in Israel, will share her flair and love for contemporary Bollywood. You won't want to miss her moves!
Register now for this fascinating program, Sunday, February 28 at 7 pm ET.
It's the perfect post-Purim celebration!
It's been fun to create our latest Explore Jewish India adventure: Bringing the rich flavor of masala chai to you at home in our authentic Chai & Chat Kits.
We've imported the terracotta kullhads (cups); strainer; lovely block-printed napkins from Jaipur; and tea enhanced with cardamom, ginger, holy basil and anise directly from India. We felt it was important to support artisans and family businesses in India. We put everything together in a beautiful gift box.
It's also been fun to play with connecting the Chai kits to Chanukkah:
The Best Chai-Nukkah Gift!
Put the Chai into Chai-nukkah!
Chai it, You'll Like It!
We even offered a Chai-Ber Week Special.
But you don't just have to take it from me. The Forward has featured our Chai Kits in its 2020 Hanukkah Gift Guide!
Seriously, I can't drink ordinary tea again. Once I made masala chai with the amazing, aromatic, flavorful and ayurvedic-enhanced tea in our kits, I was addicted. I followed the simple and authentic recipe we include on a beautiful laminated postcard.
In case you need more guidance, I even made a video of how you can make chai at home.
Don't forget to order now so the kit reaches you or your loved one by Hanukkah.
I live in two worlds, Ashkenazic and Sephardic. Sometimes I get mixed up between the two. The Kaddish, for example, as universal a prayer as it is, includes additional words that I rush to get through when I am reciting it on Zoom with my Ashkenazic synagogue community.
In Al Hanissim, the special prayer we say both on Hanukkah and Purim, the text varies by two words in the Ashkenazic and Sephardic versions. In the Sephardic version, we thank God for the miracles, deliverance, the mighty deeds, the salvation, the wonders and comforting acts God performed for our ancestors then and now. The Ashkenazic text substitutes "wars" (milhamot) for "wonders and comforting acts" (nifla'ot ve-nehamot).
The texts of our liturgy were adapted to the times and regional circumstances, and of course, human triumphs can also be divinely inspired. Still, I often stumble on the word "milhamot" in musical settings of Al Hanissim. Even though Hanukkah celebrates a military triumph, somehow I cannot get the word out.
Below, one of the beautiful glossy " Hanukkah papers" we hang around the hanukkiah (which is also hung on the wall) with God’s name printed in gilt letters at the top, and each child’s name inscribed at the bottom. You can see a close-up of Hanerot hallalu (We light these candles) with the text of Al Hanissim, followed by Psalm 30 (Mizmor Shir Hanukkat Habayit LeDavid), which is about the dedication of the Temple. We chant all these after the blessings over the lighting of the hanukkiah.
This Hanukkah, as we chant Al Hanissim, I will think with tenderness about my father, z"l, who passed away on July 14, and whose middle name was Nissim. Miraculously, God gave him strength to be with us for almost 93 years.
Tizkoo l'shanim rabot!
May we all merit many years.
I admit it. It's a hokey picture, staged by a photographer to look like I have the Taj in my hands. But, wow, so much fun.
November is usually a time of excitement--embarking on a new group tour with its own dynamics, adventures and surprises--and then returning with new friends, new bonds, new memories and a ton of new photographs. We are always home with our families by Thanksgiving to celebrate and share our experiences in India (Hodu in Hebrew) over a meal filled with thanks (also hodu) and sometimes turkey (yes, hodu, believe it or not).
This year, of course, is different. I decided to look through our past group photos at the Taj, to reminisce and relive the color, and beauty of India that I so dearly love. The Taj always ends our tours, an unforgettable highlight that seals the experience that has enveloped us for two weeks.
When I looked at the above picture again, I noticed that the position of my hands resembles the gesture we make with open hands when we recite the phrase "poteah et yadekha u-masbia l'khol hai ratzon" (God, open Your hands and satisfy every living thing) in the Ashrei or Birkat Hamazon.
Perfect for Thanksgiving and every day.
With optimism, we have scheduled our next tour for November 4-17, 2021!
The year 2020 is resonant for all those who envision a world where blindness of all kinds, both physical and spiritual—can be eliminated. I’d like to introduce you my cousin Miriam Hyman, whose legacy is one of healing.
I remember the day in July 2005 when I heard the news of the London bombings. I was at the North American Jewish Choral Festival, singing my heart out. I immediately sent emails to my relatives in London, where many Indian Jews had settled. Most were safe. But my cousin Miriam’s whereabouts were unknown.
A few days later, we knew. Miriam, age 32, had been killed in one of the four attacks on the London transport system that took the lives of 52 people. Like 9/11, that tragic day is known in numerical shorthand as 7/7.
Miriam was an extraordinary, kind human being with a great respect for human life. She had traveled alone to the US at the age of 8 for my sister Aliza’s wedding and left an indelible impression on us. She was a talented artist who created luminous paintings and hoped to start her own handmade greeting card business.
The events of 7/7 (July 7) were hugely painful for Miriam’s family--her parents, Mavis and John Hyman--and her sister Esther. But out of their sorrow they resolved to respond positively. There could be no better way of remembering Miriam, they thought, than to bring alive her vision, extending the gift of sight to the blind. In India, where Miriam’s maternal family is from, there are 8 million blind people, a million under age 16. But 50 percent of childhood blindness is preventable and treatable. The family found the perfect match for their dream: the L. V. Prasad Eye Institute, Bhubaneswar, Odisha (household and synagogue help in Calcutta came largely from Odisha).
That’s how the Miriam Hyman Memorial Trust (MMHT) was born. Today, the Miriam Hyman Children’s Eye Care Centre provides comprehensive cutting-edge eye-care services, impacting prevention, treatment and rehabilitation, irrespective of ability to pay. It is a place of hope, healing and rehabilitation. The Times of India ranked the Eye Institute the best eye hospital in the country for the third successive year. Miriam’s memorial is appropriately located there. www.miriam-hyman.com
Miriam’s legacy continues through “Miriam’s Vision – Working towards Non-Violence,” an educational resource for secondary schools in the UK. Its goal is to eliminate mistrust between people based on differences in race and religion and to foster an inclusive, nonviolent society. Work is in progress to develop the program for primary schools. The lesson plans are available free to download for teachers of 11- to 14-year-olds. Each module includes Miriam's story.www.miriamsvision.org
This year, especially, we need more avenues to vision and healing.
We are offering a NamaStay at Home event which will benefit the Miriam Hyman Memorial Trust, featuring Miriam's mother, Mavis, author of Indian-Jewish Cooking and Jews of the Raj.
Join us for Indian-Jewish Cooking, Sunday, Nov. 8 at noon EST. Mavis will share cooking demonstrations and food memories that will recreate a rich culinary tradition and way of life.
Lesley Stahl is one of my heroes. With her spunk, persistence and tough style of questioning, she has reached the top of broadcast journalism, earning 13 Emmys along the way. Now she herself has made the news for the interview that Trump cut short.
Stahl, 79, has been with 60 Minutes for almost 30 years, covering stories from Guantanamo Bay and Google to gospel for teens, earning 13 Emmys in the process, including a Lifetime Achievement Award. She helped break the Watergate story and spent 10 years as chief White House correspondent during the Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan and part of the George H.W. Bush years, which she chronicled in her 1999 book, Reporting Live. Stahl has also moderated Face the Nation, hosted 48 Hours Investigates, cohosted America Tonight with Charles Kuralt and anchored several CBS documentaries. In 2015, she won broadcast journalism’s highest honor, the Radio Television Digital News Association’s Paul White Award for lifetime achievement.
In 2016 I interviewed Stahl in her office at 60 Minutes for a Hadassah magazine profile. She told me that the early days for women in broadcast journalism were not easy. “I had to maintain my looks and overcome my looks at the same time,” she said. “A certain, shall we say, rambunctiousness was becoming my trademark. So was my persistence,” she writes in Reporting Live. “If I wanted to be treated as one of the boys…I had to learn to ram and butt and poke and shove my way up to the front.”
Stahl has not changed her commitment to remaining as fair and balanced as possible—even when she has an opinion. (Among her concerns are climate change and the staggering cost of medication.) She weathered Trump's insults and remained as unruffled and focused as she was when she raced to a Tel Aviv café minutes after it was leveled by a suicide bomber. Still, she says, “I never think of myself as courageous, ever, ever, ever! Being in the moment in the pursuit of a story, that’s where my attention is.”
Despite all her journalistic achievements, during the 2016 interview for Hadassah Stahl was most passionate about being a grandma. She had just written a book, Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting (Blue Rider). “Throughout my career, I worked at suppressing both my opinions and my emotions,” she writes in the book. “I thought I had become the epitome of self-control. Then, wham! My first grandchild was born…. I was jolted, blindsided by a wallop of loving more intense than anything I could remember or had ever imagined.”
She urges grandparents to pass on their zikna--a biblical term for wisdom acquired with age—to the next generation. “Our grandchildren need us…. My wisdom is, find a way to help them, not just for them, but for you, too.”
Read the full story here.